My favorite confusing headline from the morning paper is "Keeping Lawmakers Happy through Gifts to Pet Charities." I was expected something about Leona Helmsley and her billionaire puppy. Instead, it was Congressman Murtha and grants to the symphony orchestra in Johnstown, PA. I'll accept that sort of congressional payout more than grants for military-industrial complexes or "bridges to nowhere."
That article was cheek-by-jowl with an article about the dudes that are storming Sarah Palin rallies. That was scary.
After reading some of the paper with my pancakes at Silver Spurs on Broadway, I walked over to see the Banksy Village Petstore and Charcoal Grill installation wherein fish sticks swim in a bowl, gorillas watch the Discovery Channel, a fur coat sits on a branch swinging its tail, chicken nuggets snack, sausages wiggle like sea lions, a bunny burnishes her nails in front of a mirror, and whatnot. On the way to Seventh Avenue, I ran into a guy who had a hard luck story, locked out of this apartment and if he didn't get uptown by 10 a.m., he'd lose his job with "The Drowsy Chaperone." Well, I fell for it, "lent" him a twenty, and he promised he'd leave a twenty with my doorman in an hour or so. There's the "random act of madness" but perhaps my faith in the street story will be restored. I've made more foolish investments in bum rushes. Not that he seemed to be memorizing my address.
I dunno, maybe we should regard those elaborate hard-luck stories as artworks and any "loans" we make as the equivalent of the Met's pay-what-you-will charge, but instead I find them insulting. Just ask! I want to bark, don't insult both our intelligences.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, if your buddy wanted to get to his job at "The Drowsy Chaperone," he was going to need more than twenty bucks' cab fare. It's playing in Denver this week.
As the stupidity has rolled around in my brain, I've thought "is Drowsy Chaperone even playing any more?" and "hasn't this guy pulled the same story on me before?" I'm major gullible.
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